At least you’ll be near a hospital

In journalism there’s an expresion called “burying the lead [or lede]” which means the failure to put the most interesting element of the story front and center to grab the reader’s attention.  For example, this offer:

Offer: Kraft Light Mayo, 1 quart

leaves out of the subject line the part that I would consider the most relevant:

Unopened 1-quart container of Kraft Light Mayo, marked “Best When Used By 9 Sept 2008″.

Especially relevant considering the offer posted in June of 2010. And for anyone picking it up, the information they’ll likely need shortly thereafter is buried at the very end of the post:

Shaded-porch pickup near ****** Suburban Hospital.

You’ll probably want to head right over to the hospital after picking up your mayo.

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What do you call a shaker you can’t shake?

Offer: Cocktail Shakers

Hey, fun! I’ve been wanting to learn to make Margaritas this summer, this could be just the thing.

I have one shaker that is just the shaker and I have a small version that has the lid and strainer.  Need to take both.

Now that’s what I call “glass is half full” optimism.  Since “just the shaker” means there’s no lid, it also means that you can’t shake a drink in it.  Which would make it . . . a cup?

Next up, sole-less shoes and a broom without bristles.  In fairness, you could still shake it, just not with any liquids inside.

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Some kids are brighter than others

Kid’s love games, don’t they?  They can be entertained for hours with Candyland or Chutes and Ladders.  Or, the non-stop jam-packed excitement of Hulk Smash:

OFFER: Hulk Smash / city block game board

But let’s be honest, some kids are brighter than others.  What do you get for the kid who’s maybe not quite up to figuring out all those rules, cards, game pieces, etc?

This is the board only from a game called Hulk Smash. It looks like a city block, so maybe someone creative can figure out a use for it.

Perfect. Cousin Rufus will stare at it for hours.

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Just to chop up body par…I mean vegetables

OFFER: Butcher block table top

Very, very heavy: close to 60 lbs. 48 x 30 x 1.75″. A few light stains, otherwise fine.

Hmmm . . . so far so good.  Nothing weird here, right?

Tell me why you want it, please.

I suppose he has every right to ask seeing as how he’s giving it away, but still . . . that seems a little weird.  Either you want to use it to make dinner, or you want to use it to dispose of your victims, in which case you’re probably just going to use the dinner excuse, right?

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FailCycle took Memorial Day weekend off, but Freecyclers didn’t!

We haven’t been posting the last few days, but oh we’ve been reading.  Lots of awesome stuff got Freecycled this weekend, and then there was all the stuff we’re interested in.  Stay tuned . . .

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Isn’t *everything* on Freecycle second hand?

I debated making this a “guess what it is” post, showing the picture and doing a contest. But the OFFER was too good:

OFFER: Clock second hand, red

I read it again thinking, “Don’t they realize that everything on Freecycle is second-hand? Why bother pointing that out? It’s like referring to a “second-hand used car”. But then I read further:

Any clock makers out there? This is a red second hand for a clock. 4.5” long. Great condition.

And, thank goodness, there’s a picture.  You just can’t make this up, folks.
Second hand clock

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This gives me a GREAT idea!

In the case of this offer, the picture really brings it home (though not to my home, thank you very much).

OFFER: 10 Tiny Stickers

And they do mean tiny:

10 small stickers, 3 different designs: picture of a kite, picture of the sun, picture of a fish. New. We got them free in the mail and have no use for them.

Which  gave me a great idea!  I get small stickers in the mail every day! They come in the upper right corner of almost every letter I receive (not to mention every banana, every apple).  I’ve been throwing them away, but if I peel them off and post them to Freecycle . . .

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