FailCycle

At least you’ll be near a hospital

author — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 13:52:05 +0000

In journalism there’s an expresion called “burying the lead [or lede]” which means the failure to put the most interesting element of the story front and center to grab the reader’s attention. For example, this offer:

Offer: Kraft Light Mayo, 1 quart

leaves out of the subject line the part that I would consider the most relevant:

Unopened 1-quart container of Kraft Light Mayo, marked “Best When Used By 9 Sept 2008″.

Especially relevant considering the offer posted in June of 2010. And for anyone picking it up, the information they’ll likely need shortly thereafter is buried at the very end of the post:

Shaded-porch pickup near ****** Suburban Hospital.

You’ll probably want to head right over to the hospital after picking up your mayo.

What do you call a shaker you can’t shake?

author — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 21:06:41 +0000

Offer: Cocktail Shakers

Hey, fun! I’ve been wanting to learn to make Margaritas this summer, this could be just the thing.

I have one shaker that is just the shaker and I have a small version that has the lid and strainer. Need to take both.

Now that’s what I call “glass is half full” optimism. Since “just the shaker” means there’s no lid, it also means that you can’t shake a drink in it. Which would make it . . . a cup?

Next up, sole-less shoes and a broom without bristles. In fairness, you could still shake it, just not with any liquids inside.

Some kids are brighter than others

author — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 17:51:54 +0000

Kid’s love games, don’t they? They can be entertained for hours with Candyland or Chutes and Ladders. Or, the non-stop jam-packed excitement of Hulk Smash:

OFFER: Hulk Smash / city block game board

But let’s be honest, some kids are brighter than others. What do you get for the kid who’s maybe not quite up to figuring out all those rules, cards, game pieces, etc?

This is the board only from a game called Hulk Smash. It looks like a city block, so maybe someone creative can figure out a use for it.

Perfect. Cousin Rufus will stare at it for hours.

Just to chop up body par…I mean vegetables

author — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 01:00:01 +0000

OFFER: Butcher block table top

Very, very heavy: close to 60 lbs. 48 x 30 x 1.75″. A few light stains, otherwise fine.

Hmmm . . . so far so good. Nothing weird here, right?

Tell me why you want it, please.

I suppose he has every right to ask seeing as how he’s giving it away, but still . . . that seems a little weird. Either you want to use it to make dinner, or you want to use it to dispose of your victims, in which case you’re probably just going to use the dinner excuse, right?

FailCycle took Memorial Day weekend off, but Freecyclers didn’t!

author — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 00:35:52 +0000

We haven’t been posting the last few days, but oh we’ve been reading. Lots of awesome stuff got Freecycled this weekend, and then there was all the stuff we’re interested in. Stay tuned . . .

Isn’t everything on Freecycle second hand?

author — Sat, 29 May 2010 00:26:23 +0000

I debated making this a “guess what it is” post, showing the picture and doing a contest. But the OFFER was too good:

OFFER: Clock second hand, red

I read it again thinking, “Don’t they realize that everything on Freecycle is second-hand? Why bother pointing that out? It’s like referring to a “second-hand used car”. But then I read further:

Any clock makers out there? This is a red second hand for a clock. 4.5” long. Great condition.

And, thank goodness, there’s a picture. You just can’t make this up, folks.

This gives me a GREAT idea!

author — Fri, 28 May 2010 16:57:00 +0000

In the case of this offer, the picture really brings it home (though not to my home, thank you very much).

OFFER: 10 Tiny Stickers

And they do mean tiny:

10 small stickers, 3 different designs: picture of a kite, picture of the sun, picture of a fish. New. We got them free in the mail and have no use for them.

Which gave me a great idea! I get small stickers in the mail every day! They come in the upper right corner of almost every letter I receive (not to mention every banana, every apple). I’ve been throwing them away, but if I peel them off and post them to Freecycle . . .

Sort of love your kid?

author — Wed, 26 May 2010 15:52:27 +0000

Surely you’d spare no expense to protect the life of your child. But what if you’re swimming with someone else’s child, or perhaps a child who’s not your favorite. You’re not necessarily committed to their survival, but you at least want to keep them near the surface. Well, there’s a solution for that too:

OFFER: One Speedo Arm Floatie

Good enough. Also, perfect for the one-armed shark attack victim just venturing back into the ocean!

Blue and green with sharks and dolphins on it.

OK, maybe not perfect.

Fabio says, “I can’t believe it’s not rancid!”

author — Wed, 26 May 2010 15:04:38 +0000

You know how they say a fine wine gets better with age? Did you ever notice that nobody ever says that about butter?

OFFER: Smart Balance spray butter – expired Feb 2010

May of 2010 this was posted.

I forgot I had this in my fridge – it expired in February of this year. If you want it before I throw it out (actually I’ll clean it out and recycle it) let me know!

Well, guess I can scratch butter spray off my shopping list. Or maybe not. I wonder if we’ll see it “re-offered” in June.

Cause I hate them gentrified “city” tassels

author — Wed, 26 May 2010 03:51:35 +0000

OFFER: Large “rustic” tassel

I can’t even imagine what this consists of. Bolo ties? Bull whips? America wants to know: WHAT IS A RUSTIC TASSEL??

This is a bizarre item. It is about 12″ long and made of tin and thin rope. I have posted a picture.

A picture, thank goodness. This I have to see. Alas, a few minutes later:

I couldn’t get a photo to upload, but can email one if someone is interested.

I don’t know if I’d describe myself as “interested” per se. What about “morbidly curious“? Can you email one if someone is morbidly curious?