FailCycle

Surely you’d spare no expense to protect the life of your child. But what if you’re swimming with someone else’s child, or perhaps a child who’s not your favorite. You’re not necessarily committed to their survival, but you at least want to keep them near the surface. Well, there’s a solution for that too:

OFFER: One Speedo Arm Floatie

Good enough.  Also, perfect for the one-armed shark attack victim just venturing back into the ocean!

Blue and green with sharks and dolphins on it.

OK, maybe not perfect.

OFFER: Large “rustic” tassel

I can’t even imagine what this consists of.  Bolo ties? Bull whips? America wants to know: WHAT IS A RUSTIC TASSEL??

This is a bizarre item. It is about 12″ long and made of tin and thin rope. I have posted a picture.

A picture, thank goodness. This I have to see.  Alas, a few minutes later:

I couldn’t get a photo to upload, but can email one if someone is interested.

I don’t know if I’d describe myself as “interested” per se. What about “morbidly curious“? Can you email one if someone is morbidly curious?

OFFER: Ladybug Coat for a Small- to Medium-Sized Dog(!)

I know, what’s funny about that.  Wait for it . . .

Not sure why we have this; we’ve never had a dog.

The possibilities are endless, and mostly all weird.

Recalling the whole bit about wanting to not take up space in a landfill, does this person know what happens to the item they have when it reaches a landfill? Or, for that matter, their yard?

OFFER: unused bag of ice

Left over from a party & taking up too much room in my freezer.  I have 1 bag plus another 1/2 bag. Must arrange fairly exact pick up so it doesn’t melt on my stoop!

Melt on my stoop and drip down onto my lawn where it would water the  . . . grass . . . and re-enter the water table . . . Oh, wait, nevermind.

I’ll admit, there’s nothing particularly wrong with Freecycling this item, mine is more a complaint for the person who found the need to write it in the first place. Plus the person who bought it. And anyone who ever saw it and failed to throw it away.

OFFER: “Mad for Miley” Paperback

Unauthorized biography of Mile Cyrus by Lauren Alexander.

Oooooh . . . it’s unauthorized!  I’ll bet that makes it even better . . .

As you can imagine, most Freecycle list owners prefer to keep their lists from becoming Wish Lists, so they tend to limit WANTED posts to one per user per week or so.  Somehow I don’t think lumping a bunch of stuff into one request is what they had in mind:

WANTED: Printer for computer & microwave

Now, I’m pretty technical, but even I don’t know how I’d hook up a printer to a microwave . . .